آموزش رایتینگ تسک 2 آیلتس سوالات Advantages and Disadvantages

این تست از کتاب کمبریج آیلتس شماره 5 تست دوم رایتینگ تسک دو هست. صورت سوال اینه:

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

در ادامه جواب یکی از زبان آموزهام رو میتونید ببینید:

After finishing high school, many students have a choice to make: they can either continue further studies or have a gap year traveling or working. Both paths have benefits and drawbacks which will be discussed in this essay.

One major advantage of having a gap year is gaining world knowledge and experience. These cannot be taught through books, so spending a year traveling or working helps young high school graduates broaden their horizons. A student interested in business studies, for instance, can see different business models in countries other than his own and might get ideas on how to localize them in his own city. Another benefit of having a gap year is for students who might need some money set aside before starting university. These students can work for a year and save money while learning about the market and gaining valuable experience.

Despite these benefits having a year away from studying could cause students forget what they have learned. As in many countries students have to take some entrance test to be able to study in elite universities, not studying for a year can negatively affect their performance in such tests. In addition, having a year off could cause students lose their passion for further studies. In this case, they may completely leave school and never pursue higher education.

All in all, the student’s life condition has a lot to do with what might be the right choice for him or her. Both these paths have pros and cons that should be considered before embarking the after school journey.

نمره تقریبی (Band Estimate)

Task Response (TR): 7.0

• مزایا و معایب رو گفته و مثال هم داره.

• اما توسعه‌ی معایب کمی کلیه (می‌شه یک مثال واقعی‌تر/منطقی‌تر اضافه کرد).

• مقدمه خوبه، نتیجه‌گیری هم هست.

Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 7.0

• پاراگراف‌بندی درست و ترتیب منطقیه.

• لینک‌ها قابل قبوله.

• ولی چند جمله طولانی/نارسایی در اتصال منطقی داره.

Lexical Resource (LR): 6.5–7.0

• واژگان خوبه، ولی چند ترکیب غیرنیتیو داره: world knowledge, have a gap year traveling, set aside, entrance test, embarking the journey …

Grammar Range & Accuracy (GRA): 6.0–6.5

• چند خطای پرتکرار: missing articles, verb forms, gerund/infinitive، و ساختارهای اشتباه مثل cause students forget.

✅ نمره کلی پیشنهادی: نزدیک 7.0

ایرادات اصلی:

• cause + object + to + verb

• ❌ could cause students forget

• ✅ could cause students to forget

•  embark on + noun/gerund

• ❌ before embarking the after school journey

• ✅ before embarking on life after school / embarking on the journey…

• ساختار جمله‌ی «benefit is for students who…» (ناقص/بدساخت)

• ❌ Another benefit … is for students who might need…

• ✅ Another benefit is that students can…

• این مورد ممکنه از نظر «معنا» فهمیده بشه، ولی از نظر ساختار جمله استاندارد نیست و GRA رو پایین میاره.

•  both these paths

• بهترِ استاندارد: ✅ both paths / both of these paths
  both these در انگلیسی مدرن کم‌کاربرد و در نوشتار آکادمیک معمولاً ناهماهنگ حساب می‌شه.

✅ایرادات در واژگان/کالوکیشن 

• have a gap year traveling or working

• از نظر معنی فهمیده می‌شه، ولی ترکیب درست و رایج: ✅ take a gap year to travel/work
  
  

• life condition

• ❌ غیرطبیعی

• ✅ personal circumstances / situation / financial situation
  
  

• need some money set aside

• این هم خیلی غیرطبیعی و awkward است.

• ✅ need to save money / need some savings
  (اینجا «غلط لغوی» به معنای اینکه کلمات معنی ندارن نیست، ولی ترکیبش کلمه درست و جالبی در اینجا نیست)